Happy anniversary with wordpress.com!
Thank you, wordpress. It’s been a good year. Quite a busy one full of challenges. I guess this is a good moment to look back at my year and see if I’ve achieved what I’ve wanted to achieve or worked towards my dreams.
During the last year,
I was organizing the biggest annual street dance event in Finland, which was a huge success. All in all, I organized or co-organized 11 different dance events,
my students placed 1st and 2nd in their own categories in the Finnish championships. Personally, I won two different hip hop battles, placed third in the hip hop 2 vs 2 category in the Finnish championships and was in the top 4 in three different dance competitions,
I taught 10-15 hours a week all the time. Hip hop, house and voguing, all levels of students, in three different dance schools,
I submitted the first version of my bachelor’s thesis about dance therapy, mirror neurons and empathy,
I kept studying in the university and getting good grades,
I was a singer in a nationally touring band that plays gipsy music,
I performed as a singer in various events and took vocal lessons regularly,
I started studying Japanese,
I became the executive director of a new dance school / organization.
During the last year, I was also tired and stressed out at times. I felt like I do too much for everyone else and my own art and my studies suffer because of that. I felt like no one appreciates what I do and no one sees my work, and that I am always second to my colleagues. I felt like I can’t reach my true potential in anything that I do because I’m involved in so many different things. At times I felt like I am a bad girlfriend, a bad daughter and a bad friend.
But then again, during the last year, I have been with my family, loved my man and got love back, helped my friends in all kinds of situations from moving in to fetching forgotten keys and advertising for events. I read a few good books, listened to a lot of good music, saw some great movies, wrote lyrics and tried to capture the beauty of the world in pictures. I wrote diary entries and I read my own diary entries and on the pages I met a young woman who is on the edge of her own greatness.
During the last year, I started to accept something. The understanding that I am me, there is no one else like me and that I am allowed to shine, started to make its way into my thinking. That is probably where this writing stems from as well. It is liberating to be OK with it and it makes it so much easier to celebrate others, too, without the need to continuously compare me to them. Now that I have started to accept my own way of being, maybe during the next year I will be able to manifest it more – maybe I will take even bigger steps towards what I dream of without looking for acceptance from anyone else than myself.
During the next year, I will keep being a good dancer, choreographer, dance teacher, psychology student, host, event organizer, singer, girl friend, daughter, friend, book fanatic, generally intelligent person… me.
Thanks to everyone who has read my blog and subscribed during the first year. There is plenty more of this so stay tuned. And if you like my dance videos, please share them. Visibility is vital to us dancers – it is what gets us work and brings food to the table.