Milan for a reason

My voguing sister Jenni Milan organized a birthday ball “Jenni Milan 40 & Flawless” on last weekend. She brought an amazing international line up of dancers to teach workshops, judge the competition and to discuss the vogue and ballroom culture in an open panel discussion. It was a unique chance for the Finnish voguing scene to experience a piece of real vogue ballroom and to learn from some of the best in the world.

For me, the weekend was important in two ways. First, it was great to meet my international vogue family – other members of the House of Milan. My brothers and sisters came all the way from Slovakia, Romania, Taiwan and Estonia. As a person who often feels like an outsider, having a dance family like that feels good.

The House of Milan: me, Mette, Jamal, Nicol, Stanley, Jenni, Aviance, Natalie, Monika, Viktor and Irina

Second, for the first time, I felt like I claimed myself in a vogue ball. I participated the hands performance / arms control category which means you can only dance with your hands and arms. I made my way to the semi finals but most importantly, I battled one of the best vogue performers in the world, Karina Ninja, and I won.

This was an important turning point for me because now I know that I can do this. I know that I can bring something new to the table and it makes me so much more confident. It’s not perfect or ready and as a dancer I’m always searching and evolving but I feel like I have been seen and recognized.

Up to this point, I’ve defined myself first and foremost as a house and hiphop dancer. I’ve sometimes questioned if I deserve to be a Milan because everyone in the family is superb. I suppose I’m not going to stop being humble and I still look up to the other members but now I feel like I am in the right place.

I am thankful to my father Aviance Milan (my vogue father) for seeing the potential in me way before I saw it and making me a Milan in 2013. To me, his dance is perfection and he’s always been very supportive of me. It was nice to experience that same love and support from other pioneering members of the house; Stanley and Jamal are icons in the voguing scene and their encouragement means the world to me.

My Style

Yesterday, I participated in a dance battle event called My Style. Jenni “Jeniwai” Tuunainen had organized a great event with international judges and there were many participants from both Finland and Estonia. I felt really relaxed and I just wanted to explore my own dance as much as possible and enjoy the music and movement. For me, the name of the event was quite accurate because I really started to express my own style of hiphop dance and that ended up well; to my surprise I won the battle! I had a really great time both on the dance floor and watchin people on it. It was good to see many new faces in both categories and everybody feeling the vibe.

Here are the videos from all my battles. In the quarter final I got to dance against my really good friend Sami who I entered the Battle SM with and we ended up winning bronze. Semifinal was against Julius, a talented young man who trains and dances with his twin brother Josua. Especially I enjoyed the final that was against Jenni from Cleva Crew and that’s also the battle where I did my best. Jenni is a really nice person and a really good dancer and I like her attitude and energy a lot.

I’m thankful for the support that I got from my students and my friends. Before the battles I got some good advice from a friend from Belgium when he told me to just show who I am through the dance and relax. I had to believe in the people who believe in me and decide not to talk myself down or give up because I thought I couldn’t make it. So, all in all, this was much more than just a battle for me. It was the beginning of a journey of me finding my style and enjoying my dance.

Things to do while waiting

I was in Central Finland practicing for a concert series and a cabaret with the team. One morning our director/lead singer got really sick and I was sent home because I simply didn’t have anything to do there. I wasn’t very happy but there was nothing really to do about it and so I found myself sitting in the train station of a really small city. Everything was closed and I had a lot of stuff with me and I didn’t want to start dragging my suitcase around while searching for something to do. Luckily I had my little speaker with me so I could dance which ultimately lead to filming this little video.

While shooting I noticed a very Finnish side of myself – every time someone walked in to that tunnel, I stopped dancing. It felt nearly arrogant to be there filming myself. Then again, as a dancer I should be used to people looking at me and be happy about that. And I guess, in the end, who gives a crap? At least I had fun and the time flew by and hopefully some folks will enjoy the product, too.

Happy

This video is related to my previous post. We made a video for the girl whose heart didn’t let her continue in the crew. Many dancers are wearing the /@#?!$ ❤ t-shirt that was made after her heart attack in practice (when she said “fuck my heart”).